Active listening isn’t just about staying quiet while someone else talks, it’s about helping them feel genuinely heard, valued and understood. When we listen actively, we build trust, deepen relationships, and create space for more meaningful conversations. Without it, even well-intentioned interactions can feel disconnected.
Active listening is a skill and like any skill, it takes regular practice. Even naturally good listeners benefit from tuning in with more intention.
An example from one of our coaches: Rachel
“Before I trained as a coach, I thought I was a good listener. I gave people space to talk, but in truth, I was often half-planning what I’d say next. Rather than truly listening, I was waiting for a pause so I could jump in with what I had already decided to say.
Coaching helped me shift. I learned to tune into people, to really listen and seek understanding before responding. Even now, I do this consciously—it brings huge benefits for me and the person I’m with.
When I made the shift to being fully present—not checking my phone, not interrupting—my conversations transformed. They became more open, thoughtful, and productive. I felt more connected. It’s a skill I still practice every day.”
Innate’s do’s & don’ts of Active Listening
DO:
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Give people uninterrupted time – let them finish their thoughts.
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Show you’re engaged – use nods and brief affirmations.
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Reflect back what you hear: “So it sounds like…”
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Ask gentle follow-ups: “Can you tell me more?”
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Notice when your mind drifts and refocus – without judgment.
DON’T:
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Interrupt or finish someone’s sentences.
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Jump in with solutions too soon.
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Bring the conversation back to yourself right away.
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Multitask or check your phone, people notice when you’re not fully there.
INNATE TOP TIP:
Some neurodivergent people may need extra time to process. Leave space and don’t rush, silence doesn’t always mean they’re done.
Exercises: Becoming a better listener
1. The 3-Minute Listener
One person speaks for 3 minutes about something on their mind. The other listens without interrupting, then reflects back what they heard. Then swap.
Reflection: How did it feel to speak without interruption? To listen without jumping in?
2. Spot the Distraction
In your next conversation, notice when your attention drifts. Are you planning your response or thinking of something else? Gently bring your focus back.
3. Listen Without Problem-Solving
Ask someone to share what’s on their mind. Don’t give advice or try to fix it. Just listen. Reflect what you heard, and then ask: “What would be helpful for you right now?”
Listening is one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to support others, especially neurodivergent individuals who may communicate or process differently. If you’re looking for more tips on how to create inclusive, understanding spaces, get in touch. We’re here to help you listen better and connect more deeply.
